Expectation dilemma
Every day we set expectations for everything. It is like we are too obsessed with expecting desired outcomes. No one likes to suffer. No one wants to be live in uncertainty. Just after setting goals for life, we start expecting something. Something special, something desirable. However, do we have control over everything that happens to us? Are we believing that we are that “OMNI”-self in our lives?
There are times when we feel doomed. No matter how much we try, followingly end up at the bottom. By that time, we know life is not fair. Especially for those, who try harder, work harder, and suffer more.
So then, when do we feel motivated? How are you feeling now? Today? Is it just fine? If so, I want to tell you something. “It is not okay to be okay. It is okay to not be okay”.
Why? Because we have to accept the suffering that happened to us. Furthermore, we have to let them go. Carrying overburden of problems does not make us feel alright, or faithful. It causes us to be more worried and tired. Why carry problems if we can simply lose them?
If there is a question, then there must be an answer. Or answers. Although we are truly sorry for ourselves and extremely worried about things, we cannot find answers while being dishonest to the inner person.
There are three people in yourself: Who people think you are, Who you think you are, and who you really are. — William Shakespeare
As a student, I tend to read self-development books besides fiction and pieces of literature. The authors seemed to me like some experts, gurus, and highly experienced ones. They always ask me to pursue the limits and promise me that will be worth it later. I used to think that requires some sacrifice; I paid mine with health and time. Interestingly, I do not regret it but will not try again. I made my choice and it benefited me huge. Lot more than you could expect.
I love to take advice from others. Listening to their stories is like traveling with them through memories and finding the right path for avoiding mistakes. I apply every wisdom I heard in my life. Sadly, without any filter.
They are good people but recently it appears that their advice does not work on me. It is not because I neglect some steps, it is because I followed them all. The books, friends, experts, and storytellers speak about what they have been through. Every tale ends with happiness and success. Their speech made me believe that there are bigger outcomes. So, I started to expect results.
Once I believe and depend on the results, I could not resist expecting more. It drags me down, but I could not stop. Expecting smaller results is followed by expecting more, bigger, and shinier ones. It made me so crazy that greed in me is growing faster. When the results do not fulfill my expectation or are smaller than my hopes, there is an immediate disappointment. Depression, stress and more appear followingly. Only because of my foolish expectation.
It happened to me. And I guess it must have happened to all of us. My only solution was to let the expectations go. Whatever I am doing, whatever I am trying to achieve, I strive not to set any expectation even though it is impossible. Let it be.
I was told to gratitude for the current situation. For this purpose, I meditate. It helps. Different locks require different keys. Maybe the same problem of different people requires different solutions.
What is an anti-dilemma pill? It could be anything. For instance, Win-Loss mindset. One of my close friends has easily overcome the problem by changing their mindset. It is about accepting the loss — sudden unexpected fall during the process. After all, hard work beats talent when talent fails to work hard.
Moreover, emotional support from relationships would be great. When studying abroad, call from family does us part. When lost in woods, the north star helps a lot. There is not any inappropriate time for receiving support.
Stumbling over own expectations is plain and ordinary trouble. We could not be the ONE for dealing with issues. But we can be one percent better ourselves when facing the obstacle. Just shake and hop if there is dirt on the head. And SMILE.
